Trouble with the Curve

According to the dictionary, a curveball is something which is unexpected, surprising, or disruptive (when not referring to baseball, of course). I'm having trouble with the curveballs I'm currently experiencing. 

I know that the Lord is good, that His love endures forever. I know that His plan for my life is infinitely more than I could ask or imagine. I know this because His Word tells me so. 

Despite that, I would be lying if I said I understood those things, if I claimed to be entirely happy with everything that God is doing or has done in my life. It is at times like these that I wish I could have the eternal perspective that God has. I see only a small segment of my life, God knows the entirety of the trajectory that He has placed me on. 

That can be little comfort, however, when things are so uncertain, when things are so different from what I expected. It is at times like these that I must surrender my thoughts, for my thoughts distract from the truth that God's Word proclaims. Deep within, I know that God's plan for me is better than anything I could come up with on my own. At this point, it's a matter of letting what my heart knows drown out what my head is telling me. 

The answer to finding peace isn't an easy or simple one. I'm pursuing it through prayer and the Word. I can't guarantee a quick fix for me, or for anyone else. But I do know that, while I'm prone to wander, Jesus sought me when I was a stranger to Him. I know that I am enough, just as I am. I know that God loves me, even when I think I've failed. And I know that, in those assurances, I will find peace.

Today's Verse
Colossians 3: 1-3
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Back to Basics: Lessons from VBS, Day 1

I've always loved helping out with vacation bible school. The kids are fun, there are many excuses to be silly, and, this year, it's a great way to be involved with my church back home after so many years of living elsewhere. What I didn't expect when I signed up, was to actually learn, or rather relearn, so many helpful things.

Monday's take-away lesson was that, even when you are left out, Jesus loves you. The kids were asked to share about times when they felt left out, but I started thinking about times when being left out is unavoidable.

Right now, I'm not living in the place I usually call home. I have a reason for not being there, and I need to be doing what I'm doing. But, that doesn't mean it isn't sometimes lonely and that I don't occasionally wish that I was back with my friends, living where they are living, doing what they are doing.  However, God has a purpose for my being left out right now. We learn a lot about ourselves and about God when we have only Him to turn to and only Him to satisfy us. I'm learning a lot about God and myself and the things He is teaching me are valuable and necessary to His calling on my life.

Today I am choosing to be thankful for being left out, because even when I am left out, Jesus loves me and is fulfilling His purpose for my life.

Today's Verse
Matthew 28:20
I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

All Things

I hear the phrase 'Trust God for big things' fairly often. It's a great concept, but lately God has been challenging me to switch from trusting Him for big things, to trusting Him for ALL things. When I fixate on trusting Him for big things, I tend to ignore the little things He is doing or, even worse, start taking on responsibility for those little things myself.

But God doesn't want me to only trust Him for big, life changing things. He wants me to trust Him with every bit of my life. Every moment, every day, everything. We are promised that the Spirit works within us to give us both the desire and the power to do what pleases God. My desire to trust God and my ability to do so are Spirit-driven, and so I know that, as I lean further in to the Lord, my ability to trust will follow.

Are you trusting God for all things?

Today's Verse
Philippians 2: 13
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

The Nature of Trust

A wise friend recently reminded me of exactly what trust is and what it is not. As trust is a huge part of any faith journey, understanding the process is key.

Trust is not a one time event. We don't simply decide to trust one time, with one thing, and suddenly find it easy to trust God for the remainder of our lives.

Instead, a life of trust is built on a series of decisions, a series of choices to trust. Each time we encounter a challenge is an opportunity to remember the character of God and reaffirm our trust in Him. It's not about being able to trust next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow. It's about relying on the Holy Spirit and choosing to trust today.

The list of things that I am trusting God for right now is long and challenging. It's incredibly scary to find myself in a place where things will only succeed with His help - there is very little I can do. However, I am remembering that God is faithful and trustworthy. I don't need to doubt Him, nor do I need to strive to do more than I am able. I make the effort to the best of my capabilities, and God meets me according to His will.

Today's Verse
Romans 15: 13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Fruits of Labor

I planted sunflower seeds yesterday. The flower pot sits on our front porch, and I wait for the seeds to germinate. When they do, when the plants are a little more established, I will transfer them to the garden. I'm excited and looking forward to the growing process. I have to be, because if I choose to be excited about the end result, about those big, gorgeous flowers, I'll be disappointed. You see, sunflowers don't usually bloom until August, and I won't actually get to experience the fruits of my labor. By the time they bloom, I'll be back in State College and I won't actually get to experience the beauty of the flowers themselves. I won't get to admire them from the kitchen window. I won't get to cut them and place them in a vase.

So much of life is about learning to appreciate the process because the end result is uncertain or may never come. Ministry is a lot like that, as are all relationships with others. We may never know the impact we've had on those we've come in to contact with. My relationship with God can be like that too. I follow where He leads, but I don't necessarily see the end result. As I spend this summer away from my friends, talking with people about my ministry, and as I go back to the ministry and my life in August, I want to remember this lesson that the sunflowers are teaching me. I want to remember that I don't need to know the end of the story, or to experience it for myself, I just need to play the part God has called me to play. I need to be willing to put myself out there, and be comfortable with uncertainty. I need to rest in the confidence that, at any given moment, I'm exactly where I should be.

Today's Verse
Hebrews 10: 35
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

Pressing Pause

Have you ever pressed the pause button on your life? I feel like that is what I'm doing. I'm back at my parents' house for the next two months, raising support so that I can join staff with Cru in August. I'll be back at Penn State then, back to my version of normal. The movie that is my life will play on when I get back, but for now, it is paused.

I don't have the luxury of taking a two month vacation; there are so many things to be done. But, being home is, in itself, a luxury. I get to step out in faith in some really huge ways and see God move and provide in my life. I get the chance to be an 'only' child for the first time in 24 years. I get the chance to get to know my parents as an adult, to build a new kind of relationship with them. I get to reconnect with people from years past, people I have see infrequently, if at all, since I moved away at 18.

Pausing a life can feel odd, like a step back, like some kind of strange demotion. It's not. In the Psalms, the word 'Selah' may have been used to instruct the listeners to pause and reflect. Pausing is a chance to think, evaluate, and deeply experience my circumstances. It's an opportunity, an exploration, an adventure. I can't wait to see what God does next.

Today's Verse
Isaiah 40:31
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Humbled into Humility

Humility is a funny thing. I am learning what it is like to learn to be humble, even as I am humbled by the work that God is doing in my life.

I've always struggled with pride, not in a 'I'm so wonderful' way but in a 'I can do this my self, I don't need help' kind of way. To me, the pride of self-sufficiency seems so sly, so clever. I excuse my unwillingness to ask for help, again and again, on the basis of independence, of not wanting to appear needy, of being able to stand on my own two feet. But, quite honestly, there are few times when standing by myself is better than standing with others.

And then there is the process of being humbled, a process that has taken me a bit by surprise, though it probably shouldn't have. I look back on this last year and I see all the ways that God has shown me that I need Him. That I cannot do this, do life, without Him. He has shown me in big ways, and He has shown me little ways, insignificant to anyone but me.

And still, I fight Him. Still I say, 'if I can just hold on, if I can just hold tight enough, I can do it myself." But, God is gracious to me, even in my pride. He knows that my pride is sourced in fear. If I am the only one I count on, I am the only one to blame when things fail.

Instead of admonishing me for my pride, God asks me about my fear. He asks me if I see, if I remember, if I know all that He has done for me. He shows me, every day, that He is in control, that He has everything well in hand.

On Sunday, my church had an all-church worship gathering, where people from all of our campuses came together to worship. It was our 'Commitment Sunday', the commencement of our new funding initiative. There I was, committing to tithing in a way that I never have before, a way that is a little scary, but that I know I can trust God to honor. I'm also fully involved in developing ministry partners to pray and support me as I work for Cru. It was scary, promising to be faithful in tithing when I don't even know if I'll be able to start working in August, if all my needed funds will come in. But God knows that I am scared. At the end of the service, the woman standing next to me asked me what I do. I told her that I work for Cru and that I'm starting full time in August, if everything goes well. I tell her how nervous I am, and how the whole service had felt like a huge step of faith. She proceeded to give me the most wonderful encouragement about the whole process of developing support. She, too, is a missionary, and knows first hand what that is like. She tells me about how she has seen God work in her own life through doing the very same thing.

I can hear God asking me, 'Why do you fear? Don't you see that I am with you?' I tell my mom this story, and her first response was, 'See? God sent her to you to tell you just what you needed to hear exactly when you needed to hear it.'

So yes, God, I see that You are with me. I know that you will lead me. I believe, help me in my unbelief.

Today's Verse
Mark 9:21-24
Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” 
“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

What Would It Take?

A friend shared a story with me today about a time when they were feeling unsure and someone asked them what it would take for them to feel encouraged. I feel like God has been asking me the same question recently.

"What would it take for you to feel encouraged, Devon? What would it take for you to feel assured?"

In my humanity, I think I respond all too often to those questions by asking for just a little bit more. I see the things God is doing in my life and the ways that He is providing, and I tend to say, 'Thank you! Now, could you also do something else? Something more? Something even bigger?" I let my fear undermine my certainty. I tell myself that all these things are good, but that more is needed in order to feel secure.

But this just isn't true. We needn't look at our lives and say that God is not doing enough. God does exactly what is needed, exactly when it is necessary. There is no reason to doubt that He will accomplish all the things He intends. God doesn't abandon His projects the way I might abandon a half-knitted scarf.

Today, I am responding to those questions with a heart full of gratitude. I thank the Lord for what He is doing in my life. I thank Him for showing me how He provides for me. I thank Him for leading me beside still waters and restoring my soul.

Today's Verses
Philippians 1: 6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

Leap from the Lion's Head

Have you seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Do you remember the tests that Indiana has to pass in order to find the grail? One of those tests is referred to as the 'Path of God'. The clue given states that, "Only in the leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth." The scene is thus - Indiana is running through a tunnel towards the tunnel entrance only to reach the entrance and find that there is nowhere to go. He has reached the edge of a huge precipice. It is wide, and deep, and if he falls he will surely die. However, Indiana knows that he must cross the chasm to find the grail, to achieve his goal.

I feel a kinship with Indiana Jones right now. I feel as though I am standing on the edge of a (metaphorical) void. This last year of leaving graduate school has brought a lot of challenges, but none greater than the challenges I face now. As I prepare to join Cru and work with Penn State Faculty Commons, the ministry to graduate students and professors, everything will change. I'll be leaving my jobs, recruiting ministry partners, spending a great deal of time at home this summer and away from the support network I've spent the last four years building at Penn State. Things will be different, they may be difficult, and nothing is guaranteed.

However, like Indiana, I need to take a leap of faith. Indiana knows he needs to step off of the edge of the gorge, not knowing what will happen, in order to move forward, to reach his goal.  It is that moment of the film that's running through my head right now. Putting the importance of his goal before his own fear, he steps off, and suddenly, his foot hits solid ground. The camera angle changes, and we see that there was a path across the chasm all along, hidden from view. That is what leaps of faith in God are like. We step off the edge of whatever we are journeying through, trusting God to make a way for us that we can't yet see. God is faithful to meet us there, supporting us, placing solid ground beneath our feet.

You know that phrase, if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it? As cliche as it sounds, it's incredible true, and it is something I need to keep at the forefront of my mind.

What are the leaps of faith God is asking you to take?

Today's Verse
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

In the Wake of Greatness

Nelson Mandela has died. He is, without question, one of the greatest figures to have shaped the modern socio-politcal age. He was a figurehead in South Africa, the face of a nation, and the name that is attributed to the end of apartheid. He was a game-changer, a man who literally changed the world through his life and his legacy.

In the wake of his death, I wonder what the impact of my own life, my own legacy will be. I am reminded of Nichole Nordeman's words in her song 'Legacy'. She states,

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy."

This is my prayer today. I do want to leave a mark, to leave an offering pleasing to the Lord. I want to bless His name, unapologetically. I want to lead people to the Cross as others have so faithfully led me. I want to leave a legacy of the grace and love and mercy found at the feet of Jesus.

I am so blessed to have grown up in a family and community that embraced these things, and to have found people who encourage me and who continue to live out Christ's message of salvation as I've reached adulthood. I pray that I would continue to embrace the message of the Gospel, and that I would share it with others so that they, too, would understand and grasp the hope to which I am called through Christ. Life is, indeed, too short. However, eternity is long, and I look forward to spending that eternity worshiping my dear Jesus. 

What is your legacy?

Today's Verse
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believed in Him would  not perish, but would have eternal life.

Hairdryers and Vacuums

God provides.

This can be a perplexing phrase, especially given how very big and vague it often seems. God's provision can entail everything from economic miracles to a ride home from college for Christmas. I think I tend to forget the 'smaller' nature of God's provision, especially when He is providing in big ways. I get into this mindset that, when God is handling the really big things, it's only right that I pick up the slack with the little things.

God has been showing me that He has the little things covered as well as the big things, even the things so small that I don't even know they need covering, the things I've never even considered bringing before Him. 

In the last month, God has proven His provision, even in the little things, to me through small household appliances. A dear friend presented me with a new hairdryer, declaring that mine was entirely too heavy for hands plagued by fibromyalgia and carpal tunnel. She was right. The new one is amazing, not only incredibly light but it makes my hair look fantastic. I didn't even know I needed a new hairdryer or that one could be such a blessing, but God new that a new hairdryer would make each morning's routine that much better, that much less stressful and so each time I use it it is a reminder of his blessings in my life. Then, today, another dear friend brought me a vacuum. I've been existing without one for months, painstakingly sweeping the carpet whenever I have the energy (which, I confess, isn't often - that's a lot of work). But, without even the meager stipend grad school offered, the money I do have just isn't earmarked for things like a vacuum. But God knows. And I have friends who had an extra vacuum lying around, perfectly functional, and unused.

So now, as I type this, I have blown dried hair and vacuumed carpets. And while those things are small and often go unnoticed, I am noticing their presence today, and I am so thankful for the way God has provided them.

Today's Verse
Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

It is Well

At a recent ministry meeting we sang the hymn It is Well. Now, this has always been one of my favorite hymns, but this week it was such a beautiful reflection of exactly how I have been feeling. Recently, I have been blessed by a period of time where I have been truly experiencing the Lord's provision and grace and presence in my life, and the assurance that it is well with my soul is incredibly real.

I recently heard a quote from Darrin Patrick that states that, "the reason you don't trust God with your future is because you aren't experiencing Him in your present." This is such a true description of my life. In times when my faith falters and I am consumed by doubt and unable to trust God with my future, I am not experiencing God. When I experience God, his faithfulness is real in a way that my circumstances might belie. When I experience God, I know the hope to which I am called in Christ Jesus.

Recently, I have found myself in the strange and new position of knowing that God is entirely trustworthy, that He will be faithful, and still having to accept that I don't know how He will provide. I have been experiencing God in brand new ways, and yet I have had still had to learn that trusting God doesn't mean having all the answers. Instead, it means that, in the absence of answers, I still believe. It means that, when I don't see a way out, I know that there is one, and that God will reveal it in His own timing. It means that, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to know, it is well, it is well, with my soul.

Today's Verse
Psalm 46: 1-3, 7
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fill into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging...The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The Caller or the Calling?

During the sermon at church on Sunday, our pastor said something that spoke directly into my life. He said that God places us in situations and circumstances that challenge us in order to discover whether we will love Him more than we love what He has called us to do. One of the biggest struggles of the Christian life can be eliminating our pride in our God-given passions and talents and submitting to the sovereign will of God.

My journey out of grad school was all about this submission. I wanted that PhD. I wanted to prove to the world that the brain God gave me really was top-notch. I wanted to prove that my ideas were stellar and new and impressive. But God didn't care about my ideas, He cared about my heart. He didn't care about whether others thought I was brilliant, He cared about what would bring Him glory. He knew that a career in academia was primarily about me. It was about Him too, but I was the one in the drivers seat.

So He asked me, "Devon, do you love me more than you love your calling?" He kept asking, and kept putting me in circumstances that challenged my thinking and changed my heart, until He got the right answer. Once I reached a point where I truly loved God more than I loved my calling, more than I loved the idea of my own success, my whole life changed.

As I began to do what God wanted and to do those things solely for His glory, my whole perspective changed, and my life became about Him and not about me. I was free to forget about myself and focus on God. I was free to stop worrying about what others thought, and I became concerned only with pleasing an audience of one. I gave my whole self to God and found that my calling matters so much less than my relationship with the One who calls me.

Today's Verse
Colossians 3: 16-17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him

Apart from Him

"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis

More and more, I am discovering that happiness is not found in my life when I am pursuing God, it is found in GOD when I am pursuing Him. In the past, I have not understood the difference between these two things. The first concept holds that, when I pursue God, it is easier to be happier with my life. This idea tells me that it is easier to find happiness in the things that are occurring in my life when I am seeking God. However, living this way still places the focus of happiness on my circumstances, rather than on the Lord.

Instead, as C.S. Lewis says, happiness cannot be found apart from God. When our circumstances are frustrating, and even when our circumstances are good, our happiness should still be found in God alone.  Rather than our relationship with God helping us to find things to be happy about in our lives, our relationship with God should make us happy simply because of God Himself. 

The Bible is full of descriptions of all the things we have because of God's benevolence. We are adopted as God's children, we are new creations, we are promised that God works all things for good for those who love Him. With all these numerous promises, we needn't look any further than God to fulfill our need for happiness. 

I am so thankful for the happiness and joy and peace that the Lord brings, simply by being Himself. 

Today's Verse
Psalm 37: 4
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It Was Never Supposed to be This Way

We know the world is broken. We are told that this is so all the time but, so often, the broken things of this world become so commonplace, so ingrained in our lives, that we no longer recognize them as things that do not belong.

Death is one of these things that doesn't belong. It happens, and we all know that it happens, but I, for one, like to ignore it. When I come face to face with it, it is always surprising. It always throws me for a loop.

I came upon an accident after an event last night. It was a single person accident, no others were involved. On my first glance, I thought this person was already dead. Thankfully, they weren't, so while someone else called the cops and reported the accident itself, I crouched by the victim's head and told them that help was on the way and that everything would be fine. I don't know if they could hear me, but I wanted there to be a calm presence in the chaos of the scene; if they sensed anything, I wanted it to be peaceful and assured. After the cops arrived, a friend and I stood to the side and prayed for them. I felt good about it all - I had done everything that I hope someone would have done for me, those who were skilled to handle this sort of thing were there, and I was hopeful about the outcome. Now, I tend to be good in a crisis, which means cops like to talk to me after things like this happen. In this case, the cops came back to my house later to get my statement. During my discussion with them I got news I wasn't expecting: they don't expect the victim to live. This person, who was right in front of me not a half hour before, is dying. By the time I right this, they may indeed be dead. And that tells me, in no uncertain terms, that this world is indeed broken.

The other day, I was talking with a wise friend about life and death and about how, in terms of eternity, life is as short as the blink of an eye. Everyone lives, everyone dies. We all know that death is coming, and yet, when it comes, we are still unprepared. We are still saddened. We still grieve intensely. My friend said, "That's because it was never supposed to be this way."

She's right. When God created the world, He didn't originally include the death of man. We were to live forever in community with Him. And then sin entered the world, and the wages of sin is death. And so we die. But we are not meant to die, we are meant to live forever with God, to inherit eternal life through Christ. This hope to which He has called us. We live in a broken world but we are not stuck here forever. To borrow a thought from another wise friend, we are not earthly beings who have spiritual experiences. Instead, we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Our experience was never meant to be broken, and through Christ we are reconciled to God. I long for and hope for the day when there is no more death, no more broken bodies, no more pain and I live a life of complete freedom with Christ on high.

Today's Verses
Ephesians 1: 16-20
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your heart enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places

Where Does the Good Go?

Today I was confronted with the reality of the ideas that God has good gifts in store for his children and that He works all things together for good for those who love Him.  Too often, these ideas can seem like empty platitudes. These two phrases can seem like things we are told when our circumstances are difficult, statements meant to simply to ease the discomfort and to spark a flame of hope to life within us.  They can seem false, even when they are so incredibly true. I found myself discovering these truths today, particularly the truth that God is GOOD. I realized that, because it is in His nature to be good, and He does not act in ways that are contrary to His nature, that all things that come from Him are also, inherently, good.

The truth of what this idea of good gifts from God really means is much more difficult to grasp than I originally thought. It means that our inability to see the good in our circumstances does not mean that those circumstances are not good. What it means is that, even when we don't think we are benefiting from our trials, God is providing benefits that we may not see see. It means that, when we are living within the confines of His will, all things are good and all things eventually work together for our good. It means that God takes the things that make us feel like we are suffering and makes them good for us.

I do not get to define what is good for me and what is not. Instead, I must subject myself to the Lord's definition of what is good and endeavor to see my life more through His lens. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, and everything that comes from above is ultimately good. I am trying to trust in that today.

Today's Verse
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change

Move Mountains

I've been thinking about faith that can move mountains and, today at least, I'm not sure what that would look or feel like. Today, faith that strong seems too cocky, too good to be true. I've spent the last two days in bed, in the midst of a fibromyalgia flare up that has been the worst pain I've felt in months. The pain is there when I'm still, it's there when I roll over. The idea of lifting anything heavier than a glass of water makes me want to scream, but the Word says that faith, that amorphous, intangible concept, can move entire mountains. I don't want to move my own body, but faith can move mountains.

On days like today, God seems too big for me. On days like today, even mustard seed-sized faith seems like too hard, too huge, too incomprehensible a task. On days like today, I'm glad that even when my faith is smaller than a mustard seed, I know that God is with me. I know that God is there, patient with me, even when I am not patient. I know that He is not frustrated with me, even when I am frustrated with Him. I know that He'd rather I fight with Him than turn away from Him. I know He'd rather I argue than stop speaking to Him. On days like today, I am grateful for His enduring faithfulness, His unwillingness to abandon me. On days like today, I am grateful for the hope, the possibility, of mustard seed-sized faith.

Today's Verse
Matthew 17:20
"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Contagion

We're getting to that period of the year when everyone seems to be sick. I hear sniffles all around me, and they are not the emotional kind. It's so easy to spread germs, and so often the germs we catch are from people we never even make contact with. Door knobs, counter tops, and all sorts of common surfaces hold traces of things others have left behind, things that can have a large effect on our own bodies given the right circumstances.

I've been thinking about how faith can also be contagious. I want to be living a life that points to Christ in a way that draws people to Him. I want to be leaving traces of Him behind me wherever I go, so that others find Him even if they never see me. I want my enthusiasm and my trust in the Lord and what He is doing in my life to be catching.

My prayer is not that I would prosper in my faith but that the Lord and His work would prosper through me. I pray that I would be used to spread His love and grace and that I would leave a legacy of belief and surrender to the Lord.

What is your legacy?

Today's Verse
Colossians 4: 2-6
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I might proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Through the Cracks

This morning I was reminded yet again that God is in control and that I need to submit and surrender my whole life, successes and failures, to Him. I’m operating on a schedule that is more demanding than any I’ve ever had to deal with before, and today I realized that a number of things have fallen through the cracks. Are any of them major, life altering things that deserve panic? No. However, I hate letting people down and I hate that feeling in my stomach that crops up when I realize I’ve forgotten something. It’s so reminiscent of forgetting that an assignment is due and waking up the morning of the due date and saying “Oh no! That’s today!”

My childhood was full of moments like that, and I thought I’d grown beyond that kind of absent mindedness. I thought I’d gotten to a point where I wouldn’t forget things so that I didn’t have to hear that small voice inside me that loves to remind me how often I fail. I didn’t think I’d have to deal with the fact that that voice just gets louder when I realize that things have gone undone or been entirely forgotten.  

The voice tells me that I let people down. It tells me I’m always a few degrees off center and that everyone is disappointed. It tells me that it’s no wonder that God has to teach me so many lessons, because I keep failing to learn and that He is tired of me too. Today I am reminding myself that the voice lies. I’m reminding myself that I am human and as such cannot be perfect. I’m reminding myself that the grace that comes with Christ’s love covers me. I’m reminding myself that I am not so important or essential that everyone could be disappointed in me. I’m reminding myself that humility means admitting when I’ve made mistakes and then letting them go, refusing to beat myself up, refusing to give in to the pride inherent in a defeatist attitude.

Today Verses

Psalm 124:8

Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Powerful Prayer

I’m finding that one of the greatest gifts we have from the Lord is the ability to pray. How incredible is it that we, small and human, can enter into the presence of the Almighty with the assurance that He hears us and responds. The power of prayer is total in that God hears us and responds, but our hearts also respond and change when we pray. Prayer doesn’t just lead to changes in our circumstances, but it also leads to changes in our attitudes.

I’m so thankful that prayer not only has power over my life but also has power over me and my mind. I’m praising God today for His provision in prayer, for his attention to the details of my spirit. I’m coming before the Lord in prayer, not just asking for change in my life, but begging for change in my heart and He is gracious and faithful to provide.

Today’s Verse

Jude 1: 20-21

But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.