I am quickly discovering that figuring out what God wants me to do in this next phase of my life is not the most challenging thing that I am facing at the moment. Instead, I am challenged to hope and to hope for things that are so important that just the act of hope seems impossible.
My health has been one of the greatest complications during my time in graduate school and, while not the main reason, is certainly one of the reasons that I am graduating in August and leaving my program. I've been so surprised when people, after they find out that I am leaving my program, have suggested that perhaps my fibromyalgia will go away now that it appears to have served its purpose. They've point out the ways in which God has used my health to help make my decision to leave, and they have hope that God will heal me now.
I find myself wanting to hope for the same thing that they are hoping for. I hear God challenging me to place my hope in Him, regardless of my fear and my circumstances. I want to hope for healing and believe that God can do it, but I find myself asking, "What if He doesn't?" What do we do when the things we hope for never come? What do we do when we want something so much that to actually hope and pray for it is terrifying because we might be disappointed? How do we step out in faith when the potential for failing is so great?
I find the answer in Hebrews 11. The author lists numerous figures from the Bible who acted with hope and stepped out in faith. They did not receive what they had been promised immediately, sometimes they never saw the end result of their hope, they only saw that possibility in the distance and welcomed it, longing for something better, something heavenly. They heard the Lord and they followed Him, knowing that, whatever happened, if the Lord was leading them, they would be better off than they were before.
I am placing my hope in the Lord, trusting that so long as I am fully relying on Him, the end result doesn't matter so much. Whether my hopes come to pass is less important than whether I am trusting God to provide for me.
Are there things you are afraid to hope for? How is God asking you to respond?
Today's Verse
Hebrews 11: 1-2
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.
An exploration of faith and hope in the midst of fibromyalgia and the various and sundry things of life.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Intangible Things
The dictionary defines wisdom as "knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action." James defines godly wisdom as pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17). As I enter a period of transition, I find myself unsure of how wise I am being and whether I have done a good job of cultivating wisdom.
One of the great things about God is that He willingly gives us wisdom when we ask. Matthew 7:7 says, 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.' I often think of this verse in reference to tangible things that I need. Asking for the Lord to move in situations and relationships or asking him to provide for my physical needs comes easily. However, the Lord also promises to grant wisdom, hope, peace, and faith when we seek Him.
In times of uncertainty, it is important for me to remember that while my immediate physical needs might seem important, what I often truly need are hope and peace and wisdom. It can be easier to ask for tangible things, but what I need to do is trust God to meet my more intangible needs.
Are you trusting God to meet your intangible needs?
Today's Verses
James 1:5-6
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, without any doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.
One of the great things about God is that He willingly gives us wisdom when we ask. Matthew 7:7 says, 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.' I often think of this verse in reference to tangible things that I need. Asking for the Lord to move in situations and relationships or asking him to provide for my physical needs comes easily. However, the Lord also promises to grant wisdom, hope, peace, and faith when we seek Him.
In times of uncertainty, it is important for me to remember that while my immediate physical needs might seem important, what I often truly need are hope and peace and wisdom. It can be easier to ask for tangible things, but what I need to do is trust God to meet my more intangible needs.
Are you trusting God to meet your intangible needs?
Today's Verses
James 1:5-6
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, without any doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.
Monday, July 8, 2013
There is More to be Done
Sunday's sermon was on material from Joshua and was discussing the work that God wants to do in us before He does things for us. I found myself comparing my current path with that of Israel. Joshua 5 finds Israel having crossed into the Promised Land, but they have not yet taken hold of it. After they cross the Jordan, God calls for the men to be circumcised. They obey and find themselves need to rest, wait, and heal before they can move into the Promised Land and take control of that which God has promised them and led them towards for so long.
I imagine their frustration. There they were, in the land God had promised, having followed Joshua as the Lord commanded. The dream, the promise, is RIGHT there, waiting for them. They can literally see it and they know that it will be theirs, but it isn't immediate. God says to them, "Wait just a moment. There is still work to be done in you before I can give you what I have promised you." I imagine their bewilderment. Hadn't they done all God had asked? Hadn't they wandered as He led them for 40 years? Why must they wait any longer? What is the purpose of bringing them so close, only to ask them to keep waiting?
I defended my Master's thesis last Wednesday. It was much more emotionally challenging than I expected, but I persevered, and I experienced success thanks to God's provision. I thought I had reached my current version of the Promised Land. God has been nudging and prodding me for months to finish the thesis, get the degree, and move on to what He wants me to do next. I have been following His leading, putting one foot in front of the other to get closer to the new place He is calling me. Now, here I am, finished with what I thought would be the hardest part of this journey, and life isn't any easier today than it was last Tuesday. Just as reaching the Promised Land didn't mean God didn't have work to do in the hearts of Israel, reaching the milestone I've worked towards for so long hasn't meant God was finished doing work in me.
Instead, reaching my milestone has simply stripped away all the things distracting me from God. God has said "Trust me, I have a good plan for you. Finish this work and I'll give you new work to do." However, He is now making it clear that there are things He wants to do in me before we really move into this next phase of my life. He is teaching me reliance. He is teaching me to find my identity and freedom in Him. He is teaching me that what I need is dependence, not independence. He is teaching me the value of surrender and submission. There is more to be done in me before God can do things through me. I am looking to see what I might still have to learn before I can take hold of that which God intends for me.
What do you do when your goal is so close, and yet still so out of reach?
Today's Verse
Psalm 27: 13
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living
I imagine their frustration. There they were, in the land God had promised, having followed Joshua as the Lord commanded. The dream, the promise, is RIGHT there, waiting for them. They can literally see it and they know that it will be theirs, but it isn't immediate. God says to them, "Wait just a moment. There is still work to be done in you before I can give you what I have promised you." I imagine their bewilderment. Hadn't they done all God had asked? Hadn't they wandered as He led them for 40 years? Why must they wait any longer? What is the purpose of bringing them so close, only to ask them to keep waiting?
I defended my Master's thesis last Wednesday. It was much more emotionally challenging than I expected, but I persevered, and I experienced success thanks to God's provision. I thought I had reached my current version of the Promised Land. God has been nudging and prodding me for months to finish the thesis, get the degree, and move on to what He wants me to do next. I have been following His leading, putting one foot in front of the other to get closer to the new place He is calling me. Now, here I am, finished with what I thought would be the hardest part of this journey, and life isn't any easier today than it was last Tuesday. Just as reaching the Promised Land didn't mean God didn't have work to do in the hearts of Israel, reaching the milestone I've worked towards for so long hasn't meant God was finished doing work in me.
Instead, reaching my milestone has simply stripped away all the things distracting me from God. God has said "Trust me, I have a good plan for you. Finish this work and I'll give you new work to do." However, He is now making it clear that there are things He wants to do in me before we really move into this next phase of my life. He is teaching me reliance. He is teaching me to find my identity and freedom in Him. He is teaching me that what I need is dependence, not independence. He is teaching me the value of surrender and submission. There is more to be done in me before God can do things through me. I am looking to see what I might still have to learn before I can take hold of that which God intends for me.
What do you do when your goal is so close, and yet still so out of reach?
Today's Verse
Psalm 27: 13
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living
Saturday, July 6, 2013
The Mountain of Faith
I hiked a local mountain yesterday with my parents and the whole time we climbed I kept thinking about how faith is a lot like hiking a mountain, and how hiking a mountain is the perfect metaphor for my life this last week.
The first part of the hike was the hardest - convincing ourselves and encouraging one another to keep putting one foot in front of the other, fighting gravity to reach the summit. Once we reached the summit the views were beautiful and the wildlife we saw was awe inspiring. I was the closest to a hummingbird as I have ever been and the way the sun glinted off its feathers was a gorgeous example of the beauty of God's creation. Getting to the top, seeing what was there, made all of that early effort worthwhile. But, much like in our journeys of faith, reaching the top didn't mean that our struggles were over. We had to consistently nourish ourselves with water to avoid dehydration. We had to be careful where we stepped to avoid tripping over rocks and tree roots. There were times when the trail ascended even higher up the mountain and we needed to expend a bit more energy to keep going. But, each vista point was lovely, and the view from the top never got stale.
I defended my Master's thesis on Wednesday, and the entire experience was much like the first part of the hike. It was harder than I anticipated, but there were people to encourage me along the way, and the view from the other side, after having passed, was worth the struggle. However, I find that passing doesn't mean my struggle is over. Now I have to nourish myself with the Word, with the living water Jesus promises, to keep moving forward. I have to be careful where I step to avoid stumbling blocks and other ways the Enemy seeks to trip me up as I attempt to walk the path God has laid before me. I know that the journey won't always be easier just because one milestone is behind me. I know that God will continue to challenge me, to expand and strengthen my faith. I also know, however, that the view from the top of the mountain of faith is worth the struggle and that the view will never grow old. So long as I can view my life through the lens of faith, the effort that is required will be fruitful.
What mountains are you hiking in your life today?
Today's Verse
Psalm 95:4
In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also.
The first part of the hike was the hardest - convincing ourselves and encouraging one another to keep putting one foot in front of the other, fighting gravity to reach the summit. Once we reached the summit the views were beautiful and the wildlife we saw was awe inspiring. I was the closest to a hummingbird as I have ever been and the way the sun glinted off its feathers was a gorgeous example of the beauty of God's creation. Getting to the top, seeing what was there, made all of that early effort worthwhile. But, much like in our journeys of faith, reaching the top didn't mean that our struggles were over. We had to consistently nourish ourselves with water to avoid dehydration. We had to be careful where we stepped to avoid tripping over rocks and tree roots. There were times when the trail ascended even higher up the mountain and we needed to expend a bit more energy to keep going. But, each vista point was lovely, and the view from the top never got stale.
I defended my Master's thesis on Wednesday, and the entire experience was much like the first part of the hike. It was harder than I anticipated, but there were people to encourage me along the way, and the view from the other side, after having passed, was worth the struggle. However, I find that passing doesn't mean my struggle is over. Now I have to nourish myself with the Word, with the living water Jesus promises, to keep moving forward. I have to be careful where I step to avoid stumbling blocks and other ways the Enemy seeks to trip me up as I attempt to walk the path God has laid before me. I know that the journey won't always be easier just because one milestone is behind me. I know that God will continue to challenge me, to expand and strengthen my faith. I also know, however, that the view from the top of the mountain of faith is worth the struggle and that the view will never grow old. So long as I can view my life through the lens of faith, the effort that is required will be fruitful.
What mountains are you hiking in your life today?
Today's Verse
Psalm 95:4
In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
The Big Day
My Masters thesis defense is today at 11. As I wait for it and for the outcome, I trust that God is faithful and works all things together for my good.
I hope that you are also relying on His providence and goodness today!
Today's Verse:
Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for good for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I hope that you are also relying on His providence and goodness today!
Today's Verse:
Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for good for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Eager Anticipation
Today I am taking strength and encouragement from stories in the Bible that are full of anticipation. In particular, I am thinking of Noah. He built an ark and then it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, flooding the Earth. But Noah believed and had faith that there was light at the end of that tunnel. He believed that, one day, the sun would shine again, the land would dry up, and life would go on.
As I prepare for my Master's thesis defense, I know that there is light at the end of this long tunnel that I have been walking through. I can see it; I know that it is right around the corner. I am making diligent preparations, eagerly waiting for that day when I can say that this difficult journey is behind me and a new journey is beginning. I will start life anew, and I am so excited. I am praising God for bringing me through, and leading me to new adventures.
What are you eagerly anticipating?
Today's Verses
Ephesians 3: 20-21
No to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
As I prepare for my Master's thesis defense, I know that there is light at the end of this long tunnel that I have been walking through. I can see it; I know that it is right around the corner. I am making diligent preparations, eagerly waiting for that day when I can say that this difficult journey is behind me and a new journey is beginning. I will start life anew, and I am so excited. I am praising God for bringing me through, and leading me to new adventures.
What are you eagerly anticipating?
Today's Verses
Ephesians 3: 20-21
No to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Raise Mine Ebenezer
Yesterday our pastor told us of the importance of remembering the things that God has done in our lives as a way to remind us of His faithfulness. I have been focusing a lot recently on the things that I can see God doing now and where I can see Him working currently. However, I realized that my focus on the present has distracted me from the past.
When I focus only on what God is doing right now, it is easy to become apprehensive. What if things don't continue going the way I think or hope they will? What if I come up against unexpected obstacles? While focusing on the present keeps me grounded and aware of my surroundings, it is remembering God's past faithfulness that soothes my fears and anxiety.
As I face the large scale transitions coming up in my life, I remember times in my past when God has been faithful. When I left home on a missions trip that stretched me farther than I expected, God was there. When I graduated from high school and moved 300 miles away to go to college, God was there. When I was applying to graduate school and deciding where to go, God was there. When I was sick and weak and frustrated, God provided me with people who were supportive and caring.
Where has God been faithful to you? What stories are you remembering?
Today's Verse
1 Samuel 7: 12
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
When I focus only on what God is doing right now, it is easy to become apprehensive. What if things don't continue going the way I think or hope they will? What if I come up against unexpected obstacles? While focusing on the present keeps me grounded and aware of my surroundings, it is remembering God's past faithfulness that soothes my fears and anxiety.
As I face the large scale transitions coming up in my life, I remember times in my past when God has been faithful. When I left home on a missions trip that stretched me farther than I expected, God was there. When I graduated from high school and moved 300 miles away to go to college, God was there. When I was applying to graduate school and deciding where to go, God was there. When I was sick and weak and frustrated, God provided me with people who were supportive and caring.
Where has God been faithful to you? What stories are you remembering?
Today's Verse
1 Samuel 7: 12
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
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