The River Runs Through Us

Scripture says that rivers of living water flow through those who believe in Christ. The river brings the fruits of the spirit. It brings love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. It brings fulfillment and freedom.

Unfortunately, the various things of life can crowd the river. Emotional and spiritual debris falls in, and rather than letting it get swept away in the flow, washed away in living water, sometimes we let the debris stay. We hold on to it. We let it accumulate. We let dams develop, dams that stifle the flow of that life-giving water. The river turns to a stream, then a trickle, and we are left downstream, with less and less access to that living water.

But God does not intend for us to be dried up. He doesn't want that for us, and He is ready and waiting to help us clear the debris, to help us bring down the dams. When we ask, He will reveal to us the things that are damming up the river running through us. He will reveal how to rid ourselves of the debris that has collected. He brings healing and restoration. He brings life, that we might have it to the full.

He never promises that clearing the debris will be easy or simple, but I am finding that it is rewarding work. I am attempting to clear the debris from my life, to rid myself of the negative things I think about myself, the discouragement I experience in my work, the temptations to give up, to accept that I will never be more than what I am right now. I am attempting to bring down the dams that are holding me back from the rivers of living water that Christ promised. 

Are there things standing between you and rivers of living water?

Today's Verse:
John 7: 38
Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.

Being Needy

Sunday night we had our regularly scheduled Penn State Christian Grads meeting, but instead of our usual Bible study-type format, we had an experiential prayer night.  I had never done anything like that before: there were stations set up around the room, each station had a different activity, each station was designed to address a specific thing in prayer.  Having spent the majority of the weekend in prayer at a retreat, listening for God's voice and pursuing healing, I wasn't sure what more God could reveal to me.
I should have known better.

At the station entitled "Altar of Surrender" the first step was to present our needs, worries, fears, frustrations, and pressures to God. We were to lay them out, asking Him to reveal His plan for them and what He wants us to do about them.  When I sat down and read the prompt, I picked up my pen, ready to start by writing down my needs. And I couldn't do it. My brain wouldn't come up with any needs, my hand wouldn't write them down. I asked God, "Why is this so hard? I've spent all weekend in prayer about these kinds of things, why can't I do it right now?" 

He answered, "You need to become comfortable with needing."

I've developed an intense aversion to anything resembling neediness. I hate asking for help. I hate depending on others. I am pathologically afraid of being called or even thought of as 'needy'.

There are so many ways that this manifests itself in my life. I walk places whenever I possibly can, whenever it's safe, to avoid needing a ride. I avoid going to the doctor when I'm sick, even when I know I probably need antibiotics. Now I see that I also avoid needing God. My fear of need has resulted in an inability to recognize when I need help, to accept the grace, support, and strength of God, to open myself up and ask for support from other people.

God created me to live in community with Him. He created me to live in community with others. We aren't created to be alone, to be totally independent of others, to be solitary. He created us to need.  I'm trying to accept that now.

Are you comfortable with needing God? Are you comfortable with needing others?

Today's Verse
2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

I am Ordinary, and That’s Ok

On Monday night I have a discussion with some people from the Cru grad student ministry at Penn State about Peter and John and their experience before the Sanhedrin in Acts 4.  The men of the Sanhedrin noticed that Peter and John were ‘unschooled, ordinary men’, implying that they were unqualified to speak about God and be used by Him.  Then they realized that these men had been with Jesus. This made them qualified, this meant that their lack of schooling and ordinary lives weren’t holding them back or keeping God from using them. Our group leader asks us to name the characteristics that we ascribe to ourselves that keep us from feeling like we can be of use. What are our ‘unschooled’ or ‘ordinary’ characteristics? What holds us back?

Then he reminds us that God called Peter and John in the midst of their ordinary lives. They trusted Him to work through them, regardless of the fact that they were uneducated and ordinary. I realize that it all comes down to trust. Trusting the Holy Spirit to move, trusting that it’s ok to get out of the way, give up control, and let God work. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom – freedom from those things that make me ordinary and unqualified. Freedom from fear that God won’t want to use me, that I will fail, that those I reach out to will reject me. When God moves, when the Spirit moves, I am free from all those things – free to do exactly what He has called me to do and be exactly who He has called me to be.  

Today's Verse 
Acts 4:13 
When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.