This Is What Love Is

I realized recently (and spoke about it a little) that my views and expectations of what love is and what it looks like have become a bit warped. Being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a chronic pain disorder for which there is no cure, only symptom management, had a huge impact on how I thought and felt about myself. Interpersonal disappointments taught me not to rely on others to be there for me, to support me.

Gradually, I lost sight of what real love is, what it looks like. I even lost sight of God's love for me, and what that looks like. I spoke with Him, heard from Him, but had lost sight of the nature of His love.

On Good Friday, my church hosted an event called 'The Way of the Cross'. In the sanctuary there was a wooden cross, laid on a platform, and we were asked to pick up a word written on a card that described an attitude that we wanted to let go of. We were then to take a nail, and nail the card to the cross.

I chose the card 'Unbelief'. The word 'unbelief' perfectly describes my struggle to understand the love of God, to believe that His love is mine for the taking, that He wants ME and loves ME. I nailed the card to the cross and moved to the next station, shaking with the emotion evoked by taking a hammer and piercing the wood of that cross, literally laying my sin down at the cross. The next station invited us to do any number of a variety of worship activities, including just sitting and beings still, listening for God's voice.

On the screen nearby, there was a projector showing a series images of Jesus on the cross. As I watched the images change, I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that THIS is love. God gave His ONLY son, sacrificed His most beloved child, for ME. Not just us as a whole, the world, humanity, but as individuals. He did it for ME. He did it for YOU. He loved me, He loved you, all those long years ago. He knew me, knew you, even then. He knew that I, knew that you, would be separated from Him without the blood of Christ, and He wanted that to change. Christ loved me, loved you enough to give up His own life, enough to take the weight of our sin on His shoulders and pay the ultimate price. THIS IS HOW GOD LOVES ME, THIS IS HOW HE LOVES YOU.

Overwhelmingly. Sacrificially. Totally.

This is what love is.

Today's Verses
1 John 3: 1, 16
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are...By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us

He Is

I think coming home from a retreat can be harder than whatever it is I've been through or dealt with at the retreat.  Bringing myself back to a familiar environment, full of familiar schedules, familiar pattern can make holding on the changes I experienced elsewhere rather difficult.

Today I find myself full of thoughts about what I AM. Today I AM tired, I AM in pain, and I AM afraid I won't be able to cling to the weekend's revelations. I AM trying hard to remember the things I learned about myself this weekend. I AM trying hard to keep moving forward.

In the midst of all this I am reminded that it isn't what I am that matters. It isn't my efforts that matter. Without God and His sovereign assistance, I can do nothing, but with Christ I can do all things. With Christ I can have energy. With Christ I can ignore the pain. With Christ I can continue learning, continue moving forward. With Christ I don't have to be afraid of staying the same.

HE IS a supplier, defender, protector, teacher, motivator, father, friend. And I am realizing that He is enough.

Today's Verse
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

When Christ is the Cornerstone

On Sunday night at bible study we discuss the idea that Christian community should have Christ as its cornerstone. Dictionary.com defines cornerstone as ‘a stone that forms the base of a corner of a building, joining two walls’ and as ‘an important quality or feature on which a particular thing depends or is based’. We ask ourselves, ‘If Jesus is truly the cornerstone of a Christian community, what would that community look like?’ If we were to base our community on Christ, to depend on Him, to build our community with Him as our foundation, what things would characterize that kind of community?

For me, the answer to that question kept coming back to one concept: grace. A community with Christ as its cornerstone would be one full of grace: Grace for ourselves when we mess up or embarrass ourselves, grace for others when they mess up or annoy us. This community would be one of peace, of respect. Ephesians 2:17 says that Christ came and preached peace to those who were near and far. He preached peace to those close to Him, and to those who were far from Him. I wonder if I am doing that, if I am preaching peace to those close to me and far from me. I think about whether I preach peace to myself. Do I think about things peacefully, do I extend myself grace when I fail to live up to my own expectations?

To me, peace and grace are intrinsically linked. When grace is present, so is peace. When we extend grace to others, we live in peace with them. Their faults and foibles are less important to us when we extend grace. When we extend grace to ourselves, in our own hearts and minds, the fears and insecurities that leave us vulnerable and prone to lashing out at others are lessened. If we are at peace with ourselves, if we treat ourselves gracefully, we can do the same for others.

It’s true that the grace of God is not something that can be fully understood. As humans, full of faults and imperfections, we are incapable of extending grace in the consistent and unconditional manner of God. But we can try. We can make an effort to put Christ first in our lives, to accept His grace and love. Then, following His example, we can make an effort to see others the way He sees them, to treat others the way He treats them: with grace and peace.

Today’s Verses

Ephesians 2: 17-20

He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.