A friend asked me several days ago, "What do you need?"
I didn't have an answer for her at the time. I wasn't sure. Honestly, I have a hard time identifying what I need and then verbalizing it for fear of being seen as needy or high maintenance. I'd rather grit my teeth and bear it with what I have than need more than people are willing to give. However, this is something that God has been working very hard to rid me of for the last several months. Not only is gritting my teeth and bearing it a sign that I don't trust the people around me to care for me, it's a sign that I don't trust God to place people around me who care for me.
Not long after this friend asked me what I need, I realized that I might not be missing it. I might already have it, I just need to reach out and grasp hold of it.
In the wake of all the transitions in my life, all the new things that I am doing, I haven't lost anything. My old friends are still there - just a phone call away, ready and willing and eager to hear what I am doing and share what is going on in their lives. I have a roommate willing to run to the store for me when I am sick, and who, earlier this week, knew exactly what the perfect end to a long first day of work would be. And, I have discovered, I have new friends, and the potential for great friendships blossoming as well. I want to make space in my life for all these relationships, to build a supportive network, and all I have to do is be open to them.
Vulnerability, getting to know someone, getting support from old friends, all starts with me. If they don't know I need it, how will they know to offer it? But, if I can humble myself and ask, I can trust that God will provide the support I need and that the people who love me will be there for me.
What do you need to ask for?
Matthew 11: 28-29
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.