For so long my life, and to a large extent my self worth, has been found in my academic success. Being at the top of the class, being the student professors told each other about, being the one who achieved great things was how I proved that I belonged. I was lucky because these scholarly pursuits came easily. However, that ease also meant that I wasn't forced to grapple with who I was outside of the classroom. I always had prestige to fall back on, so realizing the idols that success and acceptance in my department had become was a long time coming.
For over a year now, God has used my health to reveal the ways in which I have been placing prestige and success before Him. This process has gradually taught me how to say no, how to ask for help, and how to find my worth outside of grades and performance reviews. This journey has taught me to find my identity in Christ. God has been showing me the gifts He's given me that fall outside the purview of my department, the gifts that have nothing to do with getting straight As.
Today I read that the importance of secular knowledge pales in comparison to the importance of spiritual knowledge. As my semester comes to a close and as the pressure to perform and achieve skyrockets, I can rest easy in the knowledge that the most important things I need to know and learn aren't measured on a 4.0 scale. While I want to do my best, as this is where God is currently calling me to be, my true best isn't found in the classroom or in an essay. My true best is found in Him.
Are you finding your worth in Christ? What are the things that you look to for validation before you look to Him?
1 Corinthians 2: 2
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.