I think sometimes I have trouble connecting with God because I have trouble being vulnerable. It's easy for me to smile, to laugh, to overcompensate with enthusiasm and verve. It's easy for me to hide what I'm feeling, even from myself.
This weekend I am at a retreat, one designed to address just this kind of thing. The whole point is to address the past, particularly those things that I have pushed down deep, the things I have hidden away and tried to ignore. The point is to deal with those things, to bring them to the light, to let God heal those broken places.
Bringing these things into the light is scary. It requires openness and a willingness to be vulnerable before God. It means facing the things I think about myself and being willing to hear what God has to say about me, about who I am. Luckily, God has set himself up as our fortress, a strong tower where we can run and be safe. We have nothing to fear from Him. He desires our vulnerability. He wants to reveal Himself to us. He wants us to invite Him in, to let Him heal our wounds.
I am inviting Him in this weekend. I want to be healed.
What does God want you to be vulnerable about?
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.