As all my school things have wrapped up and I have found myself with very short to-do lists I have kept telling myself that things will feel different once I establish a routine, once I find the new status quo. Lurking in the back of my mind is the thought that scheduling myself, finding that rhythm of work/play/relax, is the answer to this feeling that I'm not doing enough, not being busy enough, not pulling my weight in the grand scheme of things.
Today, however, I had a new thought. What if I just...don't? What if I avoid that kind of scheduling? What if I avoid busy-ness? Not in a sleep all day, never leave the house, watch trashy television kind of way, but in a way that leaves me open and available? What if I get up each day, do what I must, and then go looking for God and the opportunities He might open up for me so that I can invest in something other than myself? What if I say no to conventional wisdom that says scheduling is where logic is, and embrace something much less tangible, much more elusive, but potentially much more fulfilling?
At Bible study last night we asked ourselves, "What keeps us from saying yes to God when He calls us?" My answer? That I always want to finish the task I have in front of me before doing what God is calling me to do. My graduate schooling was the perfect example. God kept calling me to leave, and I kept saying, "Ok, I will, just wait a bit, I have to finish this first!"
I want to stop putting my tasks, my concerns, my chores, before Him and open up my life so He can truly move.
Are you making room in your life for God to move?
Matthew 8: 19-22
Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."