I've been thinking recently that there are several different kinds of awareness that God calls us to. For me, at this point in my life, I think I am primarily called to be aware of God and what He is doing around me and to be self-aware. God has been making it clear to me that, even if I am aware of who He is and what He is doing, if I am not keeping a close eye on myself, on my own behaviors and thoughts, I am placing myself at a disadvantage. If I am not careful, I may begin to adopt behavioral or thought patterns that prevent me or make it difficult to join Him where He is at work around me. If I am not loving Him the way He loves me, I will not be growing as He wants me to be.
I want to be the most genuine, God-driven version of myself. I think it's easy to do what we see others doing, to act and speak and think the way the people around us do. While this is sometimes a negative thing, it isn't always. Often we have people in our lives who are good models of what it means to be strong, mature, adult Christians. But we also have to be ourselves. Just copying the life of someone else won't make me into who God wants me to be. Doing what they want me to do or think I should do won't necessarily take me down the path God has laid out for me.
Several months ago God called me to learn to love myself again after years of all kinds of rejection. More recently, I realized that, in learning to love myself again I also need to relearn my relationship with Him. Now that I have a better understanding of who I am in Him, I need to return that love with praise. I need to truly bask in His glory and reflect on his awesome majesty. I need to restore the cycle of unconditional love and unceasing praise. Only then can I continue to move forward on this journey that God has laid before me.
Has God revealed anything to you recently?
Psalm 146: 1-2
Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.